And I'm beginning to wonder whether maybe I pushed this transfer to independent living a little too quickly. VERY rough morning this morning, which I don't even want to try to describe...but I'm feeling a lot better now, and maybe in a little better position to evaluate whether today was just another round of first day trial and error, or if I really have overstepped myself and need to think about stepping back a little.
The thing is, I've been operating on the assumption that so long as I was actively receiving Physical Therapy, I wasn't allowed to begin my Chemotherapy...which would have been true if I had been admitted to the New England Rehabilitation Hospital two weeks ago. But I'm not so certain that the folks at Seaside Rehab feel the same way, which really changes the rules of the game a little. And it's a bit of a double-bind...because I really don't feel like I can procrastinate on the Chemo much longer, but it's also really obvious to me that I need an awful lot more Rehab -- and whether I'm going to be able to get that as an outpatient living here at 75 State or not really isn't that clear to me yet. And there are insurance issues as well, which frankly I don't understand...and the whole pain management piece is still a little dicey. That was the first tough part at 6 am this morning... But you know that's got to get better too.
Anyway, I'm going to try it another night here, see if I can be a little better organized about the whole process...then talk things over carefully with my treating physician tomorrow before chemo, and with the visiting outpatient Physical Therapist when she stops by to evaluate me on Thursday. And then we'll see. I really would like to be able to walk again at some point. Walk, climb stairs, shoot hoop, crawl around on a pitching deck while sailing to windward. That sort of thing. Not to mention getting back up to my office, and into the pulpit again.
About Me
- The Eclectic Cleric
- Portland, Maine, United States
- Born and raised in the Pacific Northwest, sailing summers in the San Juan Islands and warding off the gloominess of the incessant winter rains by reading voraciously and drinking more than my fair share of Seattle's Best espresso. Five (count 'em) college degrees, making me an honest-to-God Crimson Dawg Duck Beaver Viking. Have served Unitarian Universalist congregations in both Midland Texas and on Nantucket Island (which made the 2004 election VERY interesting), as well as numerous other smaller UU fellowships along the I-5 corridor in Washington and Oregon. More recently, I relocated from the affluent faux rural suburbs of "the Neighborhood of Boston" (just beyond the Old North Bridge and through the woods, about five miles from the site of Thoreau's cabin at Walden Pond), to the bustling shores of Casco Bay at the southern edge of "Down East." But my ministry at the First Parish in Portland ME was cut short by a diagnosis of Lung Cancer in February, 2008. I currently live outside of Sacramento CA, retired with a permanent and total medical disability, as I battle with my disease and continue to ponder what God has in store for me next.
3 comments:
Tim, Don't underestimate the stress of the move to exacerbate your pain and fatigue. Even good stress creates physiological responses that are difficult. If you get some rest tonight and have had some good food today, you may be happily surprised at how much better you feel.
Val B.
Hi Tim,
Pour some time on this one. The stress of the move and the anxiety of starting chemo may all have contributed to your rocky first day.
I am sending wishes for a better day for you today.
Tim, are you going to have someone with you when you are doing the chemo? I hope you have plenty of support for that. I am hopeless at dealing with insurance, even when feeling well. I was sorry to hear that pain started out the morning. Thinking of you. -- Diane
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