Survivorship

And I've been reflecting a lot of late about what makes someone a "survivor," and thus differentiates them from being a "victim" or even just a "patient?" Is there some sort of minimum residency requirement, or does one begin surviving the moment they know they have the disease, and decide not to be victimized by it? And how much of that is denial, and how much is wishful thinking, and how much is faith and optimistic, hopeful confidence, and how much of it is just plain old mule-headed stubborn tenacity and persistence? I don't really know the answers, of course. Guess the only way to find out is to follow the path.

Been reading a really excellent cancer book too, Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips which was written by and for women half my age, but still has some pretty profound insights into this whole issue. The forward is by Sheryl Crow, which by itself was enough to get it into my Amazon shopping cart.

I've been noticing that a lot of these cancer narratives have pretty similar trajectories, kinda like a chess game.... The Opening Moves are all pretty well-scripted these days; we've done it so often now, we can predict those initial outcomes pretty accurately, at least on a statistical level. Then comes the Middle Game, a series of sacrifices and exchanges in the attempt to gain a slight advantage in position or material to take into the End Game... where like "The Seventh Seal," Black always is destined to win eventually.

I'm coming to the end of the opening now. Feeling pretty good about how things have developed, and am looking forward to still being pro-active while I "wait and watch" -- especially about moving away from my "chemo" diet to something a little more macrorbiotic/anti-cancer/holistic/organic/whatever. Lots of homework to do, in any event. Which is something I find I do pretty well.

Not that I'm planning to be fanatical about it either. There's still got to be room SOMEWHERE in my lifestyle for an occasional basket of chicken wings at Bingas.

Mostly though, right this moment I'm really worried about my little dog. The sore on her left hind leg has gotten much worse; it's causing her a lot of pain, and there's really not a lot I can do for her about it right now, except to keep her as comfortable as I can on her bed, make sure she's taking her painkillers, and take her back in to see the vet tomorrow morning. Assuming I can rustle up a ride. Which I'm confident I'll be able to do eventually.