Medical Updates 8/8/08

Saw my Oncologist yesterday afternoon, so that he could interpret for me my CT scan from earlier this week. First question out of his mouth was "so how are you?" to which I immediately responded "I don't know; isn't that what you're supposed to tell me?" That made him smile, although I'm sure he's heard it a hundred times before. Bad news is that my tumors are still there and haven't really shrunken any; good news is that they don't seem to be growing any either, and that there are no additional metastases (which is actually VERY good news). So the plan is to complete these last two cycles of chemotherapy, and then to wait and watch for awhile. I'm free to return to work any time I like, but need to be sensitive to my energy levels and try not to overdo it. And, of course, the walking and mobility issues continue to be a challenge...although again it feels as though I am experiencing almost daily improvement. Oh yes, and I'm anemic again and my platelets are low...so he's lowering the dose of my chemo this next time around to help compensate for that.

I have to admit that I was nervous going in for this appointment, and then disappointed to learn that the tumors were still there. On some naive level I think I really was hoping that they would somehow be showing the effects of this treatment by shrinking dramatically, or that they might even have disappeared entirely. But I suppose if I haven't lost any weight as a result of this chemotherapy (and have actually gained about 10 lbs instead), there's no reason that I should expect the cancer to be any smaller either. Or at least that reflects my Dad's theory; that if I lose weight, my cancer will get skinnier too Haven't really seen any clinical evidence supporting that. But I am starting to do a little more serious research about how best to change my diet once I'm out of 75 State Street (whenever that may be) and back cooking for myself again. Whole grains, fresh vegetables, that sort of thing. All food that I like, and is nutritious, and satisfying, and relatively simple to prepare. So what's not to like? And you can eat such large portions....

In any event, afterwards Erik and I went out for sushi with my friend Steve at King of the Roll. Steve was feeling pretty under the weather for most of the meal, but afterwards he wasn't quite up for going home to an empty house either, so we rolled down to Whole Foods for a little gelato, and to (discretely) race the electric shopping carts through the back aisles... (Not really. But we THOUGHT about it). Steve is having a terrible time keeping his weight up, but no matter how good an example I try to set I just can't get him to eat like a pig. Miso soup, a little white rice, a few pieces of sushi, and a taste of my teriyaki salmon. And then the gelato -- which I think he truly relished. He literally weighs half of what I do, even though he's at least an inch or two taller.

I've also been thinking some more about Randy Pausch, and some of his observations in The Last Lecture. Randy was four years and a day younger than me when he died on July 25th; now he will never get any older, while I continue to gain on him in life and (presumably) wisdom and experience. Yet the influence he will continue to exert on others will endure well beyond his death -- granting him a certain degree of immortality, as well as an on-going presence in and influence on the lives of his children, which was really his intention all along. And I'm guessing that the royalties from this book will provide them with a fair amount of wealth as well -- or at least a high level of financial security in what might ordinarily be considered a very tenuous situation. Widows and Orphans (along with the infirm, impoverished, the diseased, the disabled and yes, the elderly, who often suffer from many of these other afflictions) have typically been identified as the most vulnerable members of a society. And likewise, how generously a society deals with its less-fortunate members is a good measure of both its humanity and its progressiveness. Friends and Family. Neighbors. Strangers. It's easy to be generous to those who are close and kind to you. But...well, I've preached on this subject many times before. Go to one of my other blogs if you're really feeling in the mood for a sermon....

Right now, I'm just in the mood to feel happy. And a little relieved....