Two Weeks and ticking....

And I can't believe how quickly the time is flying by, and how much I still have to do to be packed and moving by June 15. Preached my last sermon here Memorial Day weekend --a large congregation despite the holiday, and a very emotional time for us all. Used the "Moment for All Ages" to pass out small awards to some of the folks I've worked most closely with the past two years -- UU-theme lapel pins, mostly, but slightly nicer medallions for both the Past President and the Outgoing President, and some very nice chalice earrings and a pendant for Jackie, who has been my personal Pastoral Care Coordinator this past year and more. And then at the very end I had several brightly-colored basketballs to pass out to the Governing Board, the Board of Trustees, the Finance Council, the Membership Committee and the Worship Committee, each of which was labeled with the name of the committee and the dates 2007-2007, and autographed by me, with the instructions that the members of the committee should all autograph the ball as well, and then keep it as a memento. I know, kind of a silly gesture (especially since I haven't really had a chance here to go into my basketball schtick the way I generally do with other congregations). But I think they got the message about teamwork and recognition , and I think the kids got it too, who were there to witness all this up close, and especially to see the actual awards with their own eyes.

The sermon was basically a summary of the major themes I've been preaching about for the past two years, with a bit of a Memorial Day twist and reference to the arrests outside our church the previous Monday. Wanted to emphasize the importance of mission, and of the seven key areas of Worship, Education, Fellowship, Hospitality, Outreach, Social Justice and Pastoral Care, as well as the three mottos or slogans we've been using to promote our identity: "Portland's Original Faith Community," "Heart(h)fire," and "A Warm & Welcoming Place in the Heart of the City." But it began and ended with the theme of Leadership, starting with Lyle Schaller's 44 parallels between ordained ministers and commissioned military officers, and concluding with the "Be*Know*Do" model of leadership in the "Three Meter Zone," where a leader's knowledge and the performance of the team both follow the character and bearing of the leaders themselves. You can read the whole thing HERE if you're so inclined; just click on the link and away you go.

Of course, the other big thing on my mind this past week (besides packing to move, figuring out how or whether I'm going to be able to COBRA my heath insurance, and generally dealing with too much to do in too little time and my poor health to go along with it) has been Walter. Finally met his court-appointed attorney and his counselor from the University of Southern Maine at a bail hearing last Wednesday. Of course, nothing changed; Walter's bail is still $1000 -- not a huge amount in the greater scheme of things, but for Walter it might as well be a million. And, of course, he really doesn't have anyplace to go other than the street anyway, which in some ways makes me feel relieved knowing that at least as a guest of the county he receives his daily "three hots and cot," he's relatively safe and supervised, and he isn't drinking. I guess my hope would be that we can find him a bed somewhere in a rehab program, then raise the money for his bail, and make sure he finishes rehab before starting school, all the time still awaiting trial. But that's an awful lot for me to take care of personally in the next two weeks. Especially with all the other things I've got on my mind.



Anyway, I'm probably going to have a lot more to write about Walter later, but for now I just need to keep scrambling to get it all done: the farewell parties and final leave takings, acknowledging the grief over the loss of "what might have been," the sobs and hugs and all the rest. Timetable right now is a June 15th departure from Portland, followed by a few days in the Boston area before heading out to Nantucket the middle of the week. I'll be preaching there on Sunday June 21st, and then hanging around for as long as they can stand me before heading back to the mainland and down to Greenwich CT to stay with my brother until June 30, when we will all be flying to Seattle and then driving to Camano Island for the 4th of July. I'll be staying on that island for another couple of weeks after that, and then traveling down to Portland Oregon on or about the 15th of July, to attend a party celebrating my daughter's marriage and the expected birth of my first grandchild at the end of August. But rather than waiting around in Portland for that to happen, I'm planning at that point to head on down to Sacramento and beginning to unpack my new life as a Californian. When the time comes, it's a relatively quick and cheap flight back to PDX anyway.

Finally now, a quick bonus photo from Mother's Day, and the Christening of Anna Sophia. I love this photo, just like I loved officiating at the event itself, and everything that goes along with it. Another thing I'll miss about full-time long-tenured parish ministry.

Last Sunday in Church

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With all the excitement about the potentially deadly "incident" in the alley behind the church, I almost forgot to post this. Last Sunday in church one on the most venerable members of the congregation (a retired psychiatrist) stood up during the candle-sharing and said this:

I want to express the joy of our relationship with Tim, the concern over his disabilities, and thanks for what he has given to us. He has promoted the very important need for each of us to feel "connected" to each other.

As we come closer to the end of Tim's time with us I want to express deep appreciation for his ability to share who he is at so many levels. In my later years I have begun to learn that hiding thoughts and feelings that I don't want to share with others only hides who I really am. The more of myself that I learn to share with others the more I become who I really am.

Tim has modeled that behavior for all of us and I want to thank him/you with all my heart. He has given us many great readings and sermons but I have never felt that he was preaching "down" to us from our high pulpit.

In summary, "Thank you Tim for being here and being you".

Nice testimonial, n'est pas? Thank YOU Robbie!

One tragedy averted; another in the making....

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Monday morning an observant, quick-thinking and courageous police officer assigned to Portland High School (which backs to the back of our building across a small courtyard), turned what might have easily been another national headline (like Knoxville) into just another local news story. To quote the press account,

Officer Stephen Black said he was locking the rear school doors, as he does every day at 8 a.m., when he saw Herbert Jones, 46, holding a rifle in a small paved area behind the school known as Freshman Alley. He said he then saw Jones, whose back was to him, loading rounds into the gun.

Black drew his sidearm and ordered Jones to put down the gun, a 7 mm Remington. Jones complied immediately, Black said.

That's the good news. The bad news is that there was also a passenger in the car that Jones had driven to the church, and that passenger was my friend Walter, who had been drinking with Jones since about 6 pm the previous evening. That part of the story was a little slow trickling out, but when I finally learned the details I was heartsick. I've blogged about Walter and his situation here before, and he is certainly a familiar figure to the members of my church, where Walter has been worshiping on and off Sunday mornings for about a year and a half. A few months ago he was hospitalized and sobered up, a caseworker took an interest in him, helped to get him admitted to college...but it was either not quite enough or a little too much. In either case, a few weeks after the hospital discharged him Walter starting drinking again, and things just started to go downhill from there.

The last time I saw Walter (before today, that is) was exactly two weeks ago. His leg was infected again, he was clearly drunk (and smelled it), and had come by the church to hit me up for a few bucks for booze. Told him I couldn't help him out that way, and that he needed to return to the hospital to have his leg looked at again...even offered to put him in a cab (since I'm still not driving myself), but he told me he could manage on his own, so I took him at his word, knowing full well that he would probably never make it all the way there on his own initiative. But honestly, how much more could or should I have done?

That question became all the more pressing after his arrest Monday. For ages I've been preaching that good old Universalist gospel that we are ALL God's children, and thus brothers and sisters to one another. Now I found myself asking, How would I have reacted if it had been, say, my brother Erik arrested in the alley behind my church after an all-night bender, while his drinking buddy loaded up a high-powered rifle in preparation for what sounds like premeditated mass murder? (those of you who actually KNOW Erik know how ridiculous this scenario is, but just for the point of illustration...).

I would no doubt feel angry, disappointed, and probably mostly just a little confused; I would certainly expect some sort of explanation as to what he was thinking, assuming that he WAS thinking. But I certainly wouldn't stop caring about him, certainly wouldn't give up on him or stop trying to support him...even as I made it clear to him that there was only so far I could go to shield him from the natural consequences of his own bad decisions.

Yet I would also do everything in my power to prevent him from being victimized by "the system" as well. Wouldn't want to see him crucified to "set an example" for example, or to beef up some ambitious prosecutor's conviction record (not that stuff like that ever REALLY happens in the United States of America....)

In any event, earlier this afternoon I went down to the Cumberland County jail to visit my friend Walter. First time in thirty years of ministry that I have ever had occasion to visit one of my own parishioners in jail, and it was certainly a learning experience...although one that went much more smoothly than I had any reason to expect when it turned out that my driver/assistant also just to happens to be a thirty-year friend of the current chaplain there, Rev. Jeff McIlwain. Jeff was very impressed with my UUMA ID card, BTW, since apparently so few clergy of other denominations have anything like that at all. (Then again, I didn't realize until he handed back my ID that in my wallet it had become stuck to my Harvard University ID identifying me as an "Officer" of the University). But he ushered me through the whole drill, and got me back into an interview room for what turned out to be nearly an hour-long conversation with my Navajo brother.

As his pastor, I get basically the same access to Walter as I would if I were his lawyer, and that got me thinking quite a bit afterwards about something one of my college girlfriend's fathers (an attorney) once said to me about becoming a criminal defense attorney...that it meant you had to spend a lot of your workday hanging out with criminals....

Lots more to cogitate upon here, but it's getting late. No doubt you'll get a chance to read much more though later in the week.

LINK TO TUESDAY'S PORTLAND PRESS HERALD NEWSPAPER STORY

LINK TO MONDAY'S NEWSPAPER STORY

LINK TO TV NEWS STORY

Denied, Denied, Denied...

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The letter they sent me said my phone interview would take "at least" an hour, but in reality it was over in about twenty minutes. Back in 1984, when I was first presented with the option, I chose to file form 4361 exempting my clergy earnings from the Social Security Self-Employment tax. I can't really recall what I was thinking at the time: some highly-idealistic notion about the separation of Church and State no doubt, and the power to tax being the power to control...but basically it was just that I couldn't really afford to pay an additional 15% surtax on my already-meager clergy earnings and still keep body and soul together. So I "opted-out," always kind of assuming that at some point in time I would gravitate into academia (and the regular tax system) again, and by which time our elected government officials would have figured out and finally fixed all of the quirky idiosyncrasies of the current system, thus completing the promise of the New Deal.

Certainly hadn't counted on eight years of Bush 43 and his "steal from the poor to give to the rich" fiscal policies, nor that as a first world nation we would resist universal health care for so long, nor any of the other bizarre, "alternative reality" scenarios we've been living through here in the 21st century. At the very least I assumed that after our 19 year marriage, I would be able to collect benefits under my former wife's account...but apparently that's only true if she is dead, or we have both reached the age of 62.

Do you think I'll make it another 10 years to collect? I think I've got a pretty good chance to just on the strength of my old-fashioned, mule-headed stubborn tenacity....

Meanwhile, last meeting ever of the Maine Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association chapter yesterday, appropriately held at First Parish I felt, since no one could remember the LAST time we'd hosted one. Come July 1st this chapter will consolidate with the UUMA chapter in New Hampshire and Vermont, and become the "Northern New England" UUMA chapter instead. And likewise, my last meeting with this particular group of colleagues, whom I've actually had very little chance to get to know in the past two years.

So F*** Cancer! and let's get on with life.

Such bittersweet emotions: so sad to be leaving, angry at the way that this disease has taken...stolen, actually...not only from me, but from so many other people who love and care about this church the way that I have come to. I hate the feeling of helpless powerlessness, sitting on the sidelines not being able to make a meaningful impact on the outcome of events. Jealous of the colleagues who originally came in to help me out, and have now essentially taken my place -- I'm happy for their happiness, just as I know they are sad for the tragedy in my life that made their opportunities here possible. And I'm not really happy about the direction the church is going, and the restrictions (real or imagined) that "the current financial situation" have imposed upon us all.

Obviously we all need to live within our means. But the essential mission of the church is not to balance the budget. A budget is just a tool, for crissakes -- its a plan for how we will use our money if our revenues come in the way we predict they will. A complete act of educated fantasy, actually; or better yet, "guestimation," which we can hopefully make as accurately as we can without letting it completely dictate the terms of everything else we do. Worship, Hospitality, Fellowship, Education, Outreach, Pastoral Care, Social Justice -- these are the things that need to be at the HEART of our lives together. We will figure out a way to ends meet. Somehow....

But that's an awful lot of Inside Church for a sunny spring morning, just the sort of thing I'm supposed to be letting go of for the sake of my own health. And it's true. The relief I feel at NOT being responsible for all these issues any more is actually quite profound; surprising too, notwithstanding the grief I still feel over the loss of "what might have been," my feelings of helplessness and powerlessness in terms of being able to make a difference, or even just the disappointment I feel about the way that the events of these past two years -- both on the larger, international economic level, and in my personal/interpersonal life struggling with cancer -- have changed the "Vision of the Possible" at First Parish, and "grounded" it in a way that was perhaps a little TOO "realistic."

Sigh. At least yesterday finished up with a WONDERFUL little dinner party, hosted by the church treasurer no less! And not one of these topics came up; instead our congenial little group (the Treasurer and his wife, the Nominating Committee chair and her husband, our new Director of Religious Education and myself) talked about just about everything else EXCEPT church. Well, that's not EXACTLY true...we actually talked a great deal about church, but not about its problems. Instead we spoke mostly about opportunity, and planning/designing ahead to fulfill the possibilities rather than working down to overcome the challenges. I have been SO BLESSED by the people of this congregation; I feel so PRIVILEGED to have been called to serve as their minister; I am so DISAPPOINTED about the way that God, Fate, Destiny, Cancer has stolen this wonderful gift way from us all; and yet I TRUST that I will find meaning in it, and am CONFIDENT that I still have more work to do before "God calls me home" once and for all.

And as for those Social Security Disability benefits?.... well, consider the lilies of the field....

Best Intentions

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It dawned on me this morning that between all the work I did preparing for last Sunday's service, and the amount of time I've spent reading and commenting on Other People's Blogs, that I've pretty much neglected my own blog here, and the sixty-some faithful folk who apparently lot in just about every day to see what I've been up to. So here's the deal:

Sunday's Mother's Day service was truly special: Lebanese Marionite hymns and a belly dancer (both the dancer and the soloist are church members), wonderfully contextualized as a women's art form for our indroit and children's story, then a baby dedication, and finally (if I do say so myself), a very moving HOMILY which concluded with one of my favorite hymns, "For All That Is Our Life/we sing our thanks and praise/for all life is a gift/which we are called to use/to build the common good/and make our own days glad."

Then, not having my own mother available any longer, I took my colleague and "affiliated minister" out to lunch...at Friendly's, no less (you will understand the irony if you read the sermon), which she swears she loves and has loved since childhood.

Monday was pretty much taken up with medical appointments -- all is well, but time is fleeting...only six weeks now til I fly back to Seattle, and before then I need to make sure a) that all my health insurance change-over is in place; b) that I have new Docs lined up in Sacramento, and c) that everything else I own and want to keep is all packed up and ready to go on the truck. Six weeks, and me still desperately dependent upon the kindness of strangers.

Tuesday was mostly a church day -- staff meeting in the early afternoon, and then the Governing Board that evening. The latter in particular was very depressing; like everyone these days it seems, we are looking at some pretty harsh financial realities, and still trying to fulfill our mission while living within our means. And I really can't say too much more than that.

Today is another church day -- the monthly UUMA (Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association) Maine chapter meeting is being hosted at First Parish for the first time in recent memory; we've got a very interesting program planned on the subject of worship, but also a lot of logistics to deal with...most of which I've also been able to delegate to the members of my ministerial "team." And then tonight, a small and informal dinner party at the home of some of my parishioners, who just wanted this chance to say goodbye more personally. Still, it's a long day. And I can't even look forward to having a drink at the end of it....

Every Preacher's Nightmare

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And I can't believe this actually happened to me, but about 3 pm this afternoon, approximately nine pages into tomorrow's sermon, I touched the wrong key and everything on my screen disappeared. And no matter what I tried i couldn't get it back, even though I'm CERTAIN I'd been saving regularly, just the way I always do since this last happened to me over 20 years ago. The only thing I can think of is that I did change the name of my file on the desktop, so I may actually have been saving my REAL file to another location...which I will probably stumble across, or figure out how to locate in another week or so. In the meantime though, imagine my panic! -- fortunately, since I've had such a long time to be thinking about this sermon, I had a good deal of it already written out almost word for word in longhand anyway in various notebooks and on random scraps of paper. So I just went back to the beginning and started over, not quite as polished as I'd been before, but what the hell -- I'm finished now, still hours earlier than I would have been back in the days Before Cancer, when I was still working full time at the office, preaching EVERY Sunday (instead of once a month), and writing my sermons in all day (and night) Saturday marathons based on an outline and a page or two of notes. And this Sunday's message is quite possibly the antepenultimate sermon of my career, with only Memorial Day Weekend (May 24) here in Portland and the Summer Solstice on Nantucket scheduled on my calendar.

Meanwhile, my colleagues at church have been giving me a hard time because not only do I know precisely how many sermons I have preached (this Sunday will be 653) but I can also generally tell you the titles and when and where I preached them (although there are a few sermons from my student days when I'm not exactly certain of the exact date or venue). What can I say? It was easy enough to figure out, and actually only took me a day or two to pull it all together. I'd have a lot harder time figuring out exactly whom I've married, buried, and christened...although I THINK I have pretty good records of those events tucked away somewhere in my files as well. Again, what can I say? I'm a historian and a pack rat -- what ELSE am I going to do?

I suppose I also ought to mention that about eight years worth of those sermons -- everything I preached on Nantucket, in Carlisle, and here in Portland, are all available on-line -- just go to my profile, scroll down, and click on the appropriate link. Now I'm wondering whether I ought to post a "Table of Contents" on each blogsite as well, just so people know where to look for what they're looking for. Maybe tomorrow. I've had enough computer excitement for this evening. So instead I'm going to try to get a good night's sleep, in anticipation of tomorrow's worship service, and the 149th anniversary of the death of Theodore Parker in Florence Italy, May 10th 1860....

"A Calm & Contemplative Space in the Center of the City"

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Spent most of yesterday morning again up at my private study in the Eastland Park Hotel, working with a couple of parishioners of mine to catalog my library and pack it to be shipped to California. We're developing quite an efficient routine, but it's still pretty slow going, even though I'm pretty much resisting the temptation to open every volume and thumb through the pages, remembering when and why I bought it, and how much of it I may or may not have actually read, or how eagerly I'm looking forward to reading it once I have the time. Time, time, time. So many books, so little time. So far I'd estimate we've cataloged about a third of what is there, 714 volumes so far, not including the half-dozen boxes that were already packed (but not cataloged) before we started, or the books at the storage unit (which may equal or even exceed the books in my study), or the things I have here with me at my apartment. Yes, bibliomania. It's a frightening occupational obsession of many UU clergy, I've noticed. Myself obviously included.

But that's not really what I wanted to write about.

What I'm realizing as I work to pack up my place at the Eastland is how much I am going to miss that physical space, even though it never really had a chance to come together the way I envisioned it would, even though since coming down with cancer I haven't really been able to use it much at all, except as a very expensive guest room. But this is what I've noticed. I open the door to that room, from the outside an anonymous door just like hundreds of others in that same building -- and I'm transported into a sanctuary of my mind...surrounded by my familiar desk and office furniture, and a collection of books I have acquired over a lifetime, all specifically related to one of my own personal interests, and there at my fingertips whenever I want it. Outside could be anywhere. But inside I am at the center of my own "intellectual space" -- an expression of a lifetime's worth of thought and curiosity, externalized and made manifest in paper and ink.

And that part I can recreate anywhere in the world I want to. But here's the part that made the Eastland special. Like First Parish itself, it too is located "in the heart of the city," about halfway actually between the church and my home, and with a magnificent rooftop lounge where rain or shine (or in snow or even on a bright summer day!) I could go in the afternoon when my mind was getting fuzzy and I was tired of working, and sit at a table with a cup of coffee or a diet coke and write in my journal while looking out over the city and the harbor. And that part I WON'T be able to recreate easily on the West Coast. Which is just another thing I'm going to miss when I leave here, and that I'm angry at the cancer for having stolen it from me, and maybe even a little regretful that I didn't work harder to explore options that might have allowed me to remain on here in Portland a little longer.

Not that I think it would have made any difference in the long run. That's another think I'm discovering as I pack this library. I just can't get as much done in a day as I used to. So, it almost goes without saying -- when I go I'm going to miss the people very much, but I'm not going to miss the winter weather one little bit. And my study at the Eastland...well, I'm going to be missing that much more than one might imagine, both for what it was and for what it represented -- a quiet and contemplative place where I could go to center myself, and a high and open space from which I could enjoy not just a 360 degree panoramic view of the city, but also a clear and inspiring vision of my adopted community unobstructed by anything but the limits of my own imagination. Not bad for a shabby old run-down hotel where the service is slow and the food only mediocre, everything feels like it's under constant repair, and not even the wireless internet service can be counted on. Still, I'm going to miss this old lady I've learned to love. And at least they still allow dogs!

The Bucket List

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Last night I kinda went back on a promise that I'd made to myself, and watched the movie "The Bucket List." For those of you unfamiliar with the plot and premise of this film, two terminal cancer patents -- one an extravagant over-the-top Billionaire (Jack Nicholson) and the other an automobile mechanic and devoted family man (Morgan Freeman) make a list of things to do before they "kick the bucket," and then set out to do just that in the time that they have left to them.

I'd avoided seeing this movie because it seemed just a little too close to home, and also because I didn't especially like the premise of the whole "bucket list" idea in the first place. But as it turned out, it was just another sentimental buddy movie, where the screen presence of two superstar performers sometimes obscured what was actually a very interesting and closely-crafted script. Rob Reiner's direction may have had something to do with that as well -- the whole film just seemed...well, technically competent, emotionally predictable, and just a little too contrived. But I still enjoyed it, and also think it's a movie that could grow on me in time. It was fun seeing Rob Morrow (who played Joel on the series "Northern Exposure") back playing a Doctor again. That sort of thing. But I didn't mean to turn this into a film review....

What bothered me about the movie was the way it played upon cliches and stereotypes of the cancer experience, without really exploring the heart of what living with (and dying from) cancer is really like. Which admittedly would have been hard to do. But that's kinda what I'd expected, and one of the reasons I'd stayed away from watching this movie up until now. But I also found that the "buddy" aspect of the movie came across very well, even if the actors themselves often seemed to be playing caricatures of themselves (or, more accurately, their previous film persona), rather than the characters scripted by the writer. But enough already. I'm still not convinced I ought to write my OWN bucket list. But maybe if I watch the movie one more time....

“You know, the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions. Their answers determined whether they were able to enter or not. ‘Have you found joy in your life?’ 'Has your life brought joy to others?’”

--Carter Chambers (played by Morgan Freeman) in "The Bucket List"

2009.0505-Cinco De Mayo

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And a lovely surprise call over the weekend from "Mrs Chris" -- the wife of a good friend of mine from Camano Island, whose family lives here in Maine and owns property at Higgins Beach. "Mr Chris" and I have known each other since childhood; my mom and his aunt were sorority sisters at Washington State University in the '50's, and our beachhouses now are three doors apart on Camano. The Higgins Beach connection has been nice because once I left Nantucket, it has allowed us to get together summers out here instead of back on Juniper Beach as we have every summer since we were kids. That makes us truly "bicoastal beach bums" (which I think was one of the team names we played Trivia under last summer at Bingas, before the fire).

In any case, Mrs Chris and I met up for breakfast at that wonderful Portland landmark Beckys, and had a lovely time catching up on everything that has been going on in our respective families since I last visited with them last summer. And now I'm really looking forward to seeing them all again out west on the Fourth of July.

Meanwhile, today also marked the last of my 16 sessions of radiation therapy to my right lung. Will see my regular oncologist again on Monday, but it will probably be another month before we'll really know how much good this has done me. In the meantime though, I'm starting to think about trying to make this a daily blog again, more in keeping with its original theme of sharing and documenting my experience with this lung cancer. So I guess we'll just have to see how that goes. And my apologies in advance if it all just starts to sound a little mundane...because that's just my life these days.

Thank God.

Everything Must Change

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Finally dragged myself out of bed this AM and was greeted by this horoscope from Yahoo: "You're feeling philosophical today, which means it'll be way too easy to get lost in your own thoughts. Think too much about big issues right now, and you will get overwhelmed by the sheer scope of things. So focus on keeping things simple and straightforward today. Otherwise, you will never get out of bed. Your mind had a tendency to over think, which can be paralyzing. You need to stay in touch with the reality of what needs to be done..."

WHEW!!!

Played hooky from my own congregation yesterday, in order to hear Brian McLaren speak at Immanuel Baptist Church. I'd been looking forward this for almost a year, but was a little disappointed, in part simply because I had just finished reading his most recent book earlier that week, and yesterday's presentation was pretty much just more of the same only not as good, but mostly because of logistical issues at the church itself. Sound system wasn't very good, for example, and created a bit of an echo which made it difficult for me to understand what he was saying. Likewise, when I arrived at the church (at the front door of the sanctuary, no less!) there was no one there to greet me or offer me directions; took me 15 or 20 minutes in the wheelchair just to get myself up the steps (six of them, in three groups of two) and into the building, then back into the parish hall where I was finally able to find someone who could point me to the chapel (more steps, this time down) where Brian was speaking, and already about half-way through his presentation. It was a very vivid contrast to the way we handle newcomer hospitality at First Parish,

Didn't really feel much inspired by the worship service either, where (it being the first Sunday of the month) they were serving communion. I had to leave early anyway because by that point my bladder was about to burst (I know Too Much Information), so I left as discretely as one can wheeling up a wheelchair ramp, and then afterwards stashed myself in the parlor until lunchtime. Did meet a few interesting folk there (even though...or perhaps because...I was eating in the alternative, "handicapped accessible" lunch space), including a retired Baptist Minister from Boston who informed me that Immanuel Baptist has 15 retired and/or community-based ministers as members of the congregation, including John Carmen (a retired professor from Harvard Divinity School). I imagine they must either be a real resource or a regular handful for the called and settled minister there! What do you call a collection of clergy like that? I can remember when there weren't that many ordained UU ministers in the entire state of Washington. Or Oregon. And I STILL don't think there are that many in the state of Idaho!

Meanwhile, back at First Parish I missed the monthly pancake breakfast (which is always a treat to attend), and with it a presentation about our current "budget issues." I guess there was some miscommunication between the finance people and the breakfast people about how that was all supposed to take place, which resulted in some confusion and misunderstanding at the time...it's not really my bailiwick any more, but it still bothers me to see mix-ups like that happen, when they are so easy to avoid. I've also heard (unconfirmed) reports that at least two different groups of newcomers showed up for the breakfast, discovered the budget meeting, and left before services even started. That's kind of an eye opener too, but given MY experience at Immanuel, it makes me just that much more sensitive to how quickly and easily we can loose track of how other people perceive us, and especially about the subtle (and not so subtle) barriers we put up between "insiders" and "outsiders."

And I guess if this were still my bailiwick I would want to remind folks of that, and also encourage them to bring a hopeful and optimistic attitude to this entire process, rather than letting the dismal pessimism which so often accompanies these procedures hold sway. The primary mission of this church (or any church) is NOT to "balance the budget." A budget is merely a sheet of paper with a lot of numbers on it: a spending plan and some revenue projections. It's a moving target. It describes a potential reality; it doesn't create it. That comes later. Mt 6:25-33 "But seek first the Kingdom of God and its righteousness, and all these [other] things will be given to you as well."

WHEW! again. Now, if I can just stay in touch with the reality of what needs to be done....

More Souter on my Mind

And I suppose one of the reasons I will so miss David Souter on the bench is his down-to-earth attitude. He's a frugal, New Hampshire bachelor who once described his position on the Supreme Court as "the best job in the world in the worst city in the world" -- in other words, just my kinda guy. I can understand why he will be happy to get back home to his farm here in New England, but I also imagine he will miss the intellectual stimulation that his position as an Associate Justice offered to him.



Furthermore, between her serious cancer and his advanced age, I always thought that either Ruth Bader Ginsberg or John Paul Stevens would be the first to step down. But apparently they both plan to keep working a little longer, so the 69-year-old Souter is taking his chance at "early" retirement (at his full salary) and then, like his one-time Court Colleague Sandra Day O'Conner, apparently plans to continue to hear cases at the appellate level as part of a program to help lighten the backlog of of appeals created by the confirmation backlog. But with Arlen Specter coming over from the "Dark Side," and Al Franken FINALLY on the threshold of being awarded HIS seat in the Senate, the Democrats should finally be able to field a filibuster-proof 60-vote majority, and be able to confirm whoever Obama decides to appoint.



Judging from the press reports, New York's "two-fer" Judge Sonia Sotomayor (female and Hispanic) seems to be the front-runner. But I kinda like Stanford's Kathleen Sullivan, with Sotomayor still "on the bench" until the next seat comes open. And even under normal circumstances, Obama may actually get a chance to appoint as many as four new Justices, since there is also some talk that Anthony Kennedy may be thinking of retirement as well.

drawing by Kerry Waghorn

Pity though that (short of a virulent swine flu pandemic) there doesn't seem to be much hope of either Antonin Scalia or Clarence Thomas stepping down any time soon. Scalia at least can be entertaining, if his opinions weren't so outrageous (and didn't potentially have the force of law). And speaking of Clarence Thomas, in my opinion Arlen Specter still has an awful lot to answer for when it comes to THAT confirmation fiasco. I wonder whether Anita Hill will make it on to anyone's short list?



But mostly it's the retirement thing I'm ruminating about. What DOES one do after one has "retired" from the best job in the world? That's the lesson I'm hoping David Souter can help ME learn. And relatively quickly....

"... with an independent, even quirky streak."

Usually I try not to post overtly political content here, reserving it for one of the many other forums I have available to me for expressing those opinions. But today I noticed that Supreme Court Justice David Souter has announced his retirement from the bench, and coming on the heels of Arlene Specter's announcement that he was leaving the Republican party, I just felt the urge to comment.

One of the news articles described Souter as "a typical old-fashioned Yankee Republican — a moderate, with an independent, even quirky streak." This was something I always admired about Souter -- and about New England Republicans like Elliott Richardson, Olympia Snow, even the first President Bush (who appointed Souter in the first place). They were individuals of principle, and even though our opinions might differ, we could still engage in intelligent and mutually illuminating conversation, rather than simply being subjugated to a lot of opinionated hot air (washed down with a lot more "ditto, Rush"). That old Republican party (as many have observed) is now endangered and all but extinct, while the loud-mouthed, short-sighted, half-witted beast that has evolved to take its place literally scares the Bejeezus out of me.

It's hard to say precisely when those old fashioned Republicans lost sway. Some would say it happened with Sarah Palin, while others might look all the way back to Colin Powell's willingness to carry water on the "intelligence" for going to war in Iraq. But personally, I think the Harriet Miers nomination represents some sort of ideological "tipping point of no return." Not only did it reveal how badly the last Administration was out of touch with the rest of the country (and the world!), it suggested how badly they were out of touch with reality itself. Fortunately, the grown-ups showed up, cooler heads prevailed, and the meltdown was averted for the moment.

Everything changed with the election of 2008 -- regardless of which "side" you were on. Karl Rove's "permanent Republican majority" now appears to be mostly a small group of heavily-armed and delusionally-paranoid white males ready to shoot it out with cops (or anyone else who gets in their way) at the smallest provocation. The right-wing talk-radio echo-chamber is filled with blather about "coup, succession, or armed rebellion," not to mention doubts about the President's citizenship and such. Anne Coulter is being Anne Coulter. Who could of dreamed of a Republican party where NEWT GINGRICH was the moderate, responsible voice? It's all just too much to ponder....

And yet ponder it I do. Ponder and pray....