There's Always a Bright Side

(a little early morning April Foolishness to lighten up the proverbial dark night of the soul)

Sure, facing a life-threatening cancer diagnosis is hardly all fun and games. But I can think of at least three potentially good aspects of this experience.

1) I no longer wake up in the middle of the night worrying about whether I will be able to save enough money for retirement. No, seriously. This used to bother me quite a bit. Now I never give it a moment's thought....

2) Sudden and Unexpected Weight Loss. OK, I'm still waiting to see this happen. But I have faith that it will happen for me eventually.

3) Sympathy Sex. Alright, admittedly, even if I were feeling frisky enough to pursue this activity more actively, my professional/vocational vows pretty much preclude me from taking full advantage of this particular opportunity for the terminally ill. No straighter or more narrow way to being defrocked than getting disrobed in the wrong company. But hey -- what kind of cruel, cold-hearted soul would deny an individual looking death squarely in the eye a little intimate, tender loving care? And I have it from good authority (link: The Rev A. C. Miles) that "the most common advice dying people have given me is: have more sex."

This whole train of thought got started when I woke up in the middle of the night thinking of an old Richard Pryor routine, the payoff being that if he had his choice between being hit by a bus or dying during a moment of passion in the arms of a beautiful young woman, guess which line he would be in? That's right, the LONG line....

Which reminds me of the punch-line of an even more venerable joke about the man who nudges his wife for the third time on what his Doctor has told him will be the final night of his life.

"Cut it out," she replies. "Some of us have to get up and go to work in the morning...."